Today Grace wouldn’t work for shiny beads, crinkly paper, or any of her usuals – today she would only work for a book. Grace has always loved books – granted sometimes just to chew on – but she loves to be read to – and to look at books – we always have one with us. I tell you this today because its added to my confusion. Grace didn’t qualify for summer programming through school because she is doing so well. ( I’m very proud of her, don’t get me wrong – but we have a ways to go….and I consider a lack of summer follow through a potential for not growing in the right direction). I know its not all about school. I know that Kevin and I have a role to play – but are we letting her work on goals that are too easy? Should we be pushing her more? We’d decided on one more year of preschool – but this has made us question our decision. If she’s ready for a full day of learning we shouldn’t hold her back. Do we need to rush her? Would it be rushing her? We won’t ever know. There’s always an element of guess with Grace. School decisions weigh mightily on Kevin and I – in a different way than handling medical decisions. Medical decisions in a way seem time-bound, and we can adjust if something isn’t working. School doesn’t feel near as forgiving – near as flexible. Tomorrow morning I meet with her special education teacher – I don’t expect her to have answers, but I need to know more. I want what’s best for Grace in a way more powerful than I could ever write or explain – being her advocate, a force, her mom – this seems to be a really important time.