We’ve been gone for awhile – not literally – but out of the blogosphere for awhile.  I guess you could say we’ve been struggling a little bit.  There are so many things going on right now with Grace – her therapies, her schooling, her schedule, needing glasses, her new house being built.  Kevin and I haven’t actually been still either – I promise.   I honestly think that we are quite tired, but we keep going.  This weekend it kind of all came together for me at a conference on the response of the church to individuals with special needs and their families.  I actually went to a session that was supposed to be for church people about what kinds of support families need.  There were very few actual church people in the session, it was actually more family members.  I listened to the presenter talk about “me”.  About the stress I live with, the questioning I do, the support I need, and it was a little disarming and even a little disheartening I would say.  If all that was true – and a lot of it was, Why would people include me?  include Grace? I found myself wondering……. We aren’t easy…..We are complicated – we do require patience and grace……and I’m not sure yet if  I understand the role we are to play.

And then yesterday I took Grace to the pumpkin farm.  Kevin was hosting our open house and Grace and I took our leave of absence.  It wasn’t an easy trip – Grace had difficulty walking in the fields, the tractor ride threw her off balance – kids stared and parents steered their children away from us.  At one point I had Grace in the photo spot the pumpkin farm had set up – and was trying to get her to look at the camera – she wouldn’t.  And as this was happening one woman stepped up and offered to take a picture of Grace and I.  I politely refused – but I shouldn’t have.  She was being so nice and kind when it felt like the world really wasn’t and I should have just said yes and handed her my camera.  It was a lesson – that I have to not segregate myself – or Grace – that as hard and as complicated as we are some people will take us on – and we will bless them, because even though I don’t understand we do have a role to play.